These aren't suppose to happen
by Morikawa Sei
Summary: just a preview of chapter 11
1. Chapter 1

Ok so I do really feel sorry for Homura.... I mean..... after reading all the fanfic heeheee *evil laugh* so I'll be nice to him once, won't make him the villain this time. I'll make him the victim this time XD

Pairings: Goku x Homura o.O and a slice of Hakkai x Shien *LOL*

Title: These aren't suppose to happen..... 

Rating: uhhhh.... PG-13? Shounen ai or yaoi content, up to your own imagination *evil grin*

Warning: A LOT of OCC~~~~ in almost everyone......

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Hakkai: We have to rescue Goku!!

Gojyo: Man! What do that b****** Homura want with Goku anyway? (countless kidnaps from other fanfiction by other authors.....)

Sanzo: Ch! *thinking* _I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill Homura. _GGGRRRRRR!!!! 

*Homura sneezed at this moment* _aahhhhh Konzen are you thinking of me?_

Hakkai: *sweat drop* Sanzo you're scary,,,,,,,,, *look at the i'm-going-to-kick-houmra's-ass expression Sanzo has on his face*

Gojyo: Haha you do care for that saru afterall hahaha. 

*Click* BANG BANG

************************************

_At where Homura is now..... his headquarter......_

Goku: What do you want with me?!

Homura: *with that evil and up-to-no-good look* Ohhh you'll find out soon....

Homura come closer to the poor chain-up Goku

Goku: Gulp.....

Homura: Now....... where shall we begin?

Goku: *feeling scare now.......*

Homura: *Grab Goku's chin with one hand, the other..... ahem......... and was going to kiss Goku's lips*

Goku: @#$%(*&$#$#$%@#$!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homura: *jump away* Goku who taught you to swear?!!!

Goku: Who else?

Houmra: *shock, becos he always sees Goku as being very innocent.......* It.... it doesn't matter....... *recover from shock* it won't stop me from what I want to do to you.

Goku: Oh yeah? *flash evil grin*

Homura: *thinking* I don't like that look on his face........

************************************

_Meanwhile....._

Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo had reached.......

Gojyo: Goku don't fear we are coming to save you!!!!!

THWACK THWACK

Gojyo: Itai....... why you do that for?

Hakkai: Gojyo is sounding more and more like Goku here.

Sanzo: Goku....where? *become very excited at the mention of Goku's name*

Hakkai: *sweat drop*

Gojyo: Oi you corrupted monk, why did you hit me for?!

Sazno: For shouting out loud, you want them to know we are here!!

Gojyo: Oh really?!! Looks who shouting now!!!!!!

Sanzo: Who else you baka kappa!!!!!

Gojyo: Why you!!!!

Sanzo: I swear when all these end I'm going to KILL you!!!!!!!

Hakkai: ........

Shien: Having some trouble Hakkai? 

Hakkai: Oh Shien, well..... that was fast of you to appear.

Zeon: Who wouldn't, with all the shouting?

Hakkai: True.... *sweat drop*

Shien: So... what shall we do now? Attack or wait for the 2 to stop yelling at each other?

Zeon: I'll say we wait, its interesting. *smirk*

Hakkai: Ano.... then may I suggest a game of poker?

Shien: Not a problem.

Zeon: You're on.

************************************

_Back to Houmra and Goku...._

Homura: That was noisy......

Goku: .....

Homura: It doesn't matter now..... Son Goko shall we continue?

*went over and attempted to touch Goku again*

*Sanzo at the ground floor: @#$%&%$#@%^%#@$^*)$*(#@$!!!!!!!!! HOMURA YOU TOUCH GOKU ONE HAIR AND I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*Homura sneezed real hard a few time, so hard that his hand accidentally..........*

Goku: Gggggrrrrrrrr

Homura: Opps...... *accidentally knocked off Goku's limiter*

*Goku transformed into Seiten Taisen Son Goku and break through the chains*

Homura: this is bad....... *tried to jump to one side as Goku charged toward him madly*

*Goku smashed a hole in the wall*

Homura: *sweat drop* He's really mad.......

Homura was going to start running to grab Goku's limiter when he got punched and pinned down by a very strong Goku.

Homura: Let go you baka saru!!!! *thinking* didn't know he could be so strong, he's only half my size!!!!

Goku: No ONE call me BAKA SARU!!!!!!!

Homura: *jaws dropped opened, didn't know Goku can still speak*

Goku: *took the broken up long chain* so mister you like small boys huh? *grin evily* I'll let you taste a bit of your own medicine. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Homura: *thinking* this is bad this is really BAD!!!!

************************************

_Back to the Sanzo trio and Shien and Zeon......_

Zeon: Ahhhhh!!!!! I lose again.......

Hakkai: Ne then shall we continue since Zeon is out of cash?

Shien: No....

Hakkai: Why? *grin happily*

Shien: Becos I'm out of cash too.....

Hakkai: Oh that's bad..... *look at Sanzo and Gojyo who had almost stopped fighting.* well then I guess let's call it a quit, shall we?

Shien: *nodded in agreement* 

Zeon: Hey you may have win us in poker but you still haven't win the fight. *take out machine gun*

Hakkai: Very well.... then shall we play another round of poker to determine the last winner. The winner for this last round shall be the victory party.

Shien: 2 against one?

Hakkai: It doesn't matter to me. *grin happily* but..... i do have a rule...

Shien and Zeon: What rule?

Hakkai: I win, I get to be the seme for the both of you.

Zeon: W....wh...... what??!!!

Shien: .........

Zeon: That's nuts!!

Hakkai: So are you on? *grin menacing* 

Shien: I don't mind though......

Zeon: *sweat drop* ....... wh..... what's wrong with you Shien?!

Hakkai to Shien: Don't worry I'll share ^_^

Zeon: .........

Hakkai and Shien staring at him like he's a prey.

Zeon: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *run away*

Shien: sigh, well there he goes......

Hakkai: Maa maa.... it doesn't matter, we'll get another chance again. So Shien the usual place tonight?

Shien: Yes... and Hakkai?

Hakkai: Yes?

Shien: Do remember to be gentle.

Hakkai: *grin* I will. *cross fingers behind*

Sanzo nursing his bruised cheek: Oi Hakkai, where did those two went to?

Gojyo nursing a bruised eye: Yeah we haven't even started fighting.

Hakkai: *sweat drop* well.....

************************************

_Back to Goku and Homura......._

Homura: *Didn't like THIS at all*

Goku without his limiter (_remember earlier...?_): So Mr. Pervert? How do you like your medicine?

Homura: For the last time, my name is not Pervert!

*Homura didn't like it he was all chained up*

Goku: It doesn't matter. *grin evily, as he undo Homura's belt and start to pull his pants down*

Homura: *glup*

Goku: Now I shall let you feel what's it like being a uke all the time and getting fuck.

Homura: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHMUMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

************************************

The trio heard the horrifying scream.

Sazno: Goku!!!

Gojyo: Doesn't sound like Goku to me.....

Hakkai: Yeah Goku doesn't sound so mature......

Gojyo: And he won't scream "mummy", *smirk* he'll scream sannnnzzzzooooooo.

BANG

Gojyo: Just joking ......

Sanzo: Let's find him fast anyway.

Hakkai: But where? *stared at the hundreds of rooms around them*

************************************

*Homura managed to break free after he managed to grab Goku's limiter and put it on Goku's head. Of course not after getting F***, and with a tired Goku on him*

Homura: *thinking* this is bad..... my fearless reputation all gone........

Goku: *sleeping blissful* ZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Homura: *thinking* no i can't let anyone find out I've been......

*Quickly got up dressed and also helped put Goku's clothes on. The as he heard running sound nearing, he pose a fighting pose and pretend to have knock down Goku,.... of cos not to forget smashing a few furniture first and making a lot of cash and boom.*

Door flew open.

Sanzo: Goku!!!!!!! *see a Homura, like he had just given Goku a fatal punch that knock his poor Goku out completely*

Homura: *pretend to smirk* Ahhh Konzen you're too late, I have defeated Son Goku.

Gojyo: Teme!!!!

Hakkai held the unconscious Goku in his arms.

Homura: *decide to retreat before he start to show any signs that he had been violated* Well I'm impressed by your bravery to come, Konzen you can keep the sutra for the time being, we shall meet again. *flag his cap and teleport away*

*Goku snoozing away*

Sanzo: *took the sleeping Goku in his arms* Let's get out of here. *thinking* _why was that idiot Homura crying anyway? .....What the hell........_

Homura at the other end: Oh no forgot to wipe tears away..... *sniff*

Hakkai: Hai hai

Gojyo: smirking away.

The end

Author's ending rant: Hahaha what do u guys think? I finish written this in 30 mins. Have to be fast cos I'm writing this at work so.... *eyes going around hoping nobody notice she's writing fanfiction during working hours* Pls Review ^^


	2. Chapter 2

ok.... here it is, chapter 2. I had been thinking should i continue this next chapter as from where i stopped in my first chapter or make up another new story.... so after much pondering, i decided to continue related to chapter 1, I'm sure everyone will like to know what's between Hakkai and Shien right heehee *evil chuckles* Expect a lot of things you won't expect to happen.... err.... what may i talking about.... anyway look at the title.... a lot of unexpected stuff.....

Disclaimers: I do not own Saiyuki

Warning: The usual.... shonuen ai or yaoi content, lots of OCC, PG-13 or its up to your own imagination again for the rating....

Pairings: Up to your own imagination...... 

Title: These aren't suppose to happen..... chapter 2

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In the inn......

Goku: Mou, what r you doing sanzooooooo?

Sanzo: Shut up you baka saru!

Gojyo (in the next room with his ears on the wall, eavesdropping....*sweat drop*): *thinking* This is serious stuff, that corrupted monk is at last making a move on that saru, he must be pissed off this time cause he must be suspecting Homura did it with that saru.......

Actually Sanzo is doing some foot reflex massage for Goku O.O Sanzo doing foot massage?! 

Sanzo was mumbling under his breathe, which Goyjo couldn't hear properly, instead Gojyo heard it more like groaning and moaning sound. *sweat drop*

Sanzo: (fretting and thinking): Stupid monkey can't even walk properly after we got him back from Homura, complained his legs are tired, if I don't this, I'll have to listen to his groaning all night (notice they are in Sanzo's room, apparently Goku had dragged himself into Sanzo's room) 

What Gojyo is hearing now.......

Goku: Itai!!!! Can't you use less strength?!

Sanzo: Shut up you baka saru!!

Goku: Itaiiiiiii.... Sanzooooooooo

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In the other room.....

Hakkai: Ah? I thought we'll be meeting at our usual place? Shien?

Shien (who had appeared out of nowhere): ...... I encountered a little problem you see.....

Hakkai: Eh?

Shien: Our usual place had been occupied by someone.....

Hakkai: Occupied? 

Shien: Yes unfortunately....

(at their usual place, on top of a sky-scraper, the Kou-ikkuo playing manjong)

Doku: This is some neat place you found Yanoe.

Kou: Yes, its cool, and the view is good.

Yanoe: Arigatou~~~~ (she knew about this place becos she had been there before with Hakkai)

Hakkai: Oh then I guess we'll have to do it here then.....

Shien: Yes unfortunately......

Hakkai.... took out a pack of UNO.

Hakkai: Let's play heart attack ^^

Shien: You promise you won't hit my hand too hard, you almost broke off one of my nails the last time.... (took me another 2 weeks to get it grown out again)

Hakkai: Hai hai *cross fingers behind*

**********************************

Gojyo alone in his room, sighing, becos he couldn't find any beautiful chick.... heard a loud scream coming from Hakkai's room, mistaken the high pitch scream for a female scream, got excited and quickly place ear on the wall.

Shien (wailing in a high pitch voice): It's hurt, can't you hit me lighter!!

Hakkai: Maa maa, gomen got to excited. (but we all knew he did it on purpose right? hee hee)

Gojyo (in the other room sweat dropping): Hakkai.....? "Hitting" on a girl? Man! He IS so lucky to get a chick...... 

Hakkai: There there I'll kiss it to make it better ok?

Shien (still in a high pitch voice): sob sob, its bleeding.....

Gojyo: *envying* First the monk and the saru are having a good time, now Hakkai is having a good time with a chick, why am I left all alone tonight?

Disappointed, Gojyo decided to leave his room, since he couldn't get any peaceful sleep with all the screamings coming from the two rooms, ... his room is in the middle......

**********************************

At the bar.....

Homura was drinking all alone....

Homura: Why..... why did all these happen.... sniff.... *gulp down another glass of whisky* 

Bartender: There, there Mister, don't be sad, here's another glass of whisky for u. There's always a brighter tomorrow. 

Homura: thank you..... sniff......

Gojyo who had gotten himself drunk in another bar and gotten himself thrown out entered this bar.

Gojyo (drunk and mumbling): I'm so lonely....... *sad*

Gojyo sit down next to Homura, didn't notice it was Homura, becos Homura was missing his cape and chain and had his head buried in his arms. 

Bartender: *thinking* another guy out of love? 

Gojyo: Hey, a glass of brandy.... make it a bottle.....

Bartender: Yes coming up. *thinking* this is bad, i have 2 guys here tonight out of love.... sigh.... pitiful......

Gojyo gulp down the bottle of brandy, feeling very very drunk now..... 

Homura: Bartender, give me another bottle of whisky too. 

Gojyo and Homura turned around to look at each other, but..... they were too drunk to recognize each other.

Gojyo: Hic..... so....you....hic ..... can't....find the someone to...hic spend a ...hic night with...hic?

Homura: Me.. hic? No...hic...... actually...hic yes....hic...... I'm....hic depress......hic...

Gojyo: Then...hic...... let's...hic drink....till ....morning ...hic ....to...together.......hic....buddy....hic...

**********************************

In the morning......

Homura jerked awake....

He was shocked to see a long haired person beside him in bed.... Oo 

Homura: This is bad..... I have lain with a woman whom I don't know.......

In a panic, he quickly got up and rushed out of the room.

Bartender entered the room, only managed to see a panic Homura ran out.

Bartender: ??

Bartender: Good morning Mister, pls wake up....

Gojyo: *droopy eyes* What....? Where... am i...?

Bartender: You're still in the bar, but you and one of the customer gotten yourselves so drunk I have to put you two up here in the bar, you're lucky, there's a bed here, but both of you have to share, hope it wasn't such an uncomfortable night for you...

Gojyo (grateful cos if not he'll be sleeping on the street): Thanks.... (but puzzled who's the other guy??) But where's the other guy?

Bartender: Oh, he just left, he seem to be in a hurry....

Gojyo: ??

**********************************

Homura now....

Homura: This is bad..... not only I got....f***, I have lain with an unknown woman (he still thinks it s woman becos of the long hair......) Now all my fans will hate me for being such a "loose" person..... *plunge further into depression*

**********************************

Back at the inn.....

Hakkai: Ah you're back

Gojyo: Yeah.....

Goku: Ne Gojyo where have you been the whole night?

Sanzo: Why ask him Goku, he's probably out having fun isn't that obvious?

Gojyo: ...... *thinking* me? Having fun? .......

Hakkai: Maa maa let's not go into details shall we, we have a minor here.

Gojyo: *thinking* Looks who's talking to think this saru and the monk are actually....... and Hakkai having fun too *probably fuming by now, still thinking* no i can't let them know I didn't get to have fun last night, I'll get laugh at...

Gojyo *smirk*: That's right none of you will want to know the details, hee heee

The end...........

Ending note: Ok.... end of this chapter.... sorry it doesn't sound right, I wrote this half-way then i was asked to go for lunch so.... i was interrupted.... and I'm down with a small eye infection (i think) again in my right eye..... but i can't take my contacts out *groan* at work....... anyway enough of my senseless ranting, pls review ^^


	3. Chapter 3

Here's chapter 3.... here's the funny thing... when I want to write angst story I kind of get inspiration for humor story then when I want to write humor.... anyway "Whose Rights" will not continue anymore, I have it removed cos basically I can't seem to get anything out of it anymore. I'm not good in angst story...... So on with the humor ones ^___^

Summary: Homura is depressed.... guess who's his psychiatrist? Shien playing hide and seek with Zeon ? O_O Sanzo woke up to find himself dress as ..... and what does Kanzeon has to do with all these?

Disclaimers: As u all know by now I do not own Saiyuki or Saiyuki Gaiden

Warning: The same..... as before

Pairings: ....... I will not evaluate.....

Title: These aren't suppose to happen-- Chapter 3

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Homura: .......wha.... what am I doing here?

Shien: *reminding for the nth time* You are here to see a psychiatrist Homura.

Homura: *blur look* why?

Shien: ....I dunno just that the doctor ordered you to come after endless depression, and your outburst last week of trying to jump out of the tower.......

Homura: Oh.... ok....... but why are you here?

Shien:..... *give-up look* to keep an eye on you.

Homura: By the way I wasn't trying to jump out of the tower Shien....

Shien: Then?

Homura: Just trying to get my underwear which had been blown out of the window.... *grin*

Shien: ...... you'll do anything just to get out of this......

Nurse no.1: Mr Homura, Mr Homura, you can come in now.

******************************************

Homura lying (yes lying not sitting) on the couch waiting for the doctor when....

Nurse no.1: Mr Homura we are sorry to inform you but Dr. U is not able to come today, but we manage to get a replacement I hope you won't mind.

Homura:.... uhhh.... no...not at all.

After the nurse exist, Homura heard the door opened again.

Homura: *thinking* so the doctor is here, hope is someone nice.....

Mysterious Doc: Oh look who we got here?

Homura: *thinking* voice sound so familiar... *look up*

A few minutes of silence........

Homura: AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

******************************************

Shien: Now where the heck did Zeon went off to?

Zeon: *hiding behind a big potted plant, complete with disguise, fake moustache, sunglasses.....* Can't let him find me.....

Zeon is well.... developed a phobia to Shien since even since what happen when the Sanzo-ikkuo came to rescued Goku and Shien sort of like wanted to.... uhh hmmmm and it didn't help when Shien kept giving him all those strange looks like he was some kind of delicious food. 

Shien: Where did he go? *put hand on his hips looking a little frustrated* Zeonnnn? Zeonnnnnnnnn, where are youuuuuuu?

Nurse no.2: Shhhhh

Shien: Opps sorry *softly* Zeonnnnn ? Come out come out where ever you are.

Zeon: *sweat drop*

******************************************

Homura: *shocked look* =O Wha.... what are you doing here?

Kanzeon: Now now don't you think being cropped up in Heaven all the time is kind of boring, so I got myself a little entertaining hobby. *smirking*

Homura: Being a psychiatrist is entertaining?

Kanzeon: Of course, especially when my patient is you.

Homura: Uhhhh *gulped*

Kanzeon: I heard you have depression huh? So unlikely for the Toushin Taishi.

Homura: *got angry* Well whether I have depression or not, its none of your business !

Kanzeon: *smirking* of course it IS my business.

Homura: ?? 

Kanzeon: If you become out of action everything will become less interesting *still smirking*

Homura: ..... so what do you intend to do?

Kanzeon: Well isn't it obvious, cure you.

Homura: How? O.o

Kanzeon: *grinning evily* 

Homura: O.O

******************************************

Sanzo: *twitching*Where the hell am I? *twitching* And why am I wearing like this complete with some weird wig?*twitching*

Kanzeon smirked. Sanzo was tied to a chair if not he would be probably taking his gun shooting around.

Kanzeon: Oh this really bring back memories. *day dreaming*

Sanzo: HEY OLD HAG I'm talking to you!!!!!

Kanzeon: *sigh* Something just never change, but you'll find out soon what's this all about. *smirk*

Sanzo: *thinking* Don't like the look she/he giving me....

******************************************

Shien: Zeoonnnnn comeeee out commmme outtt wherever you are~~~~~~~~~~~

Zeon: *now hiding on some pipes found on the ceiling* ....... *sweat dropping* 

******************************************

Kanzeon: Come you little cutie.

Homura: No...no don't pull me whatever your cure is, its definitely not going to be anything good.... let go of me......

Kanzeon had tied poor Homura and was carrying him over her/his shoulder.

Kanzeon: Don't be such a cry baby Homura, I'm sure you'll be your old self very soon. *smirk*

******************************************

Goku: Ne Hakkai where is Sanzo?

Hakkai: *looking guilty* err..... he.... 

Gojyo: He what?

Hakkai: *smile calmly* He has a date....

Goku & Gojyo: WHAT!!!!!!!!

Hakkai: *thinking* now who couldn't resist such a good offer...?

_Flashback_

Kanzeon appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the night

Kanzeon: I need to borrow Kon... I mean Sanzo for a moment.

Only Hakkai was still awake.....

Hakkai: ..... Then you should go and tell him that.....

Kanzeon: *smirk* You think he'll come with me?

Hakkai: Well you're afterall a goddess nothing is not within your power....

Kanzeon: Yes yes but I'm busy so I'm ordering to help me.

Hakkai: Can I say no *innocent smile*

Kanzeon: Well let's just say I'll give you something in return.

Hakkai: ?

Kanzeon: How about a new cover for Hakuyuu?

Hakkai: Really? But how? *happy*

Kanzeon: Easy. *snap finger* 

*Poof* Hakuyuu still look normal in dragon form, but when it transforms it has a COVER \^^/

Kanzeon: So what do you think?

Hakkai: I'll DO it~~~~~~~~~~

_ End of Flashback_

Goku: Ne ne Hakkai who is Sanzo's date?

Gojyo: Yeah yeah how come you'll the only one who knows about it.

Goku: Yeah its not fair~~~~

Gojyo: Come on is it some hot chick???

Goku: Hakkkkkaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii

Gojyo: Come on tell us already.

Hakkai: ......... *sweat drop*

To be continue.......

Experiencing writer's block at the moment, this chapter isn't that good, hopefully the next one will be better, sorry a little too short..... 


	4. Chapter 4

....Sanzo's date uhhh let's just say i was desperate or Hakkai was desperate for a lie so.... anyway a big ARIGATOU to everyone who review. *sob* happy tears, you all are my inspiration source *weep* And yes after reading thro my own story i found some spelling mistakes as well as a number of missing words, pls forgive me I'm typing at a very fast speed and the lousy keyboard at my workplace isn't helping either ..... err yes i type my fanfics at work cos I'm so boreddddd here ok on with the fiction.

Disclaimer: no no Saiyuki / Saiyuki Gaiden is not own by me 

Warning: spelling error.... missing words...... PG-13........ OOC........ a lot of unexpected events......

Pairings: ..... ....... i'll only know after I finish writing this chapter ^___^

Title: These aren't suppose to happen..... -- chapter 4

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Sanzo: Give me one very good reason why I must go along with you and your stupid plan. *pout*

Kanzeon: Oh.... *think very hard* let's just say I might actually enjoy locking you up in a room with no cigarettes for a week or two *smirk*

Sanzo: ....... but why must I help you to "help" your "patient" (said with a lot of acid, guess he knew its Homura already.....). 

Kanzeon: *sigh* Sanzo just do as I told you to, and don't worry, I'll make sure you are rewarded handsomely. *grin*

Sanzo: ....... *give-up look* *mutter* nothing good is going to come out from all these......

******************************************

Meanwhile

Shien: Found you at last *grin*

Zeon: Uhhhhhh *sweat drop*

Shien: Oh please stop looking at me like that, and why are you wearing those ridiculous disguise? You know Halloween is long passed.

Zeon: *bigger sweat drop*

Shien: Now you won't escape from me. *grin evily*

Zeon: *gulped*

Shien: Now..... come on show me your baby photos already.

Zeon: Uhhhh no.....

Shien: Why? You showed it to Homura and you won't show it to me *pout* not fair......

Zeon: Errrrr....... they are really ugly....

Shien: Oh come on don't be shy *grin* come on stop hiding them. *Tried to grab the photo album Zeon is hiding behind his back.

Zeon: No no I can't its just too ugly.....

Lirin happen to passed by, and saw the 2 kamis, one trying to get something, one trying to hide something. She beaome very curious and interested as well so she went in and ......

Zeon: ?! huh

Shien: *stop* why wat happen?

Zeon: *look at hands find album missing then turn and saw Lirin holding the alubm and looking through it* Ahhhhhhh give it back!!!!!!

Lirin: *giggling* this is so cute, ah!! *managed to jump to one side when Zeon jump at her* Here catch!! *throw the album to Shien*

Shien: Ohhhh *look at the first few photos* kaiwaii~~~~~~~ *blush blush, happen to saw a naked photo of Zeon as a baby*

Zeon: *flushing red* GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!

******************************************

Homura: *blind folded and tied* #$%@&*# OLD HAG!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanzeon: *sigh* Homura Homura, I'm just trying to help you, can't you at least appreciate it?

Homura: *heard Kanzeon's voice* Appreciate???

Kanzeon: Ok pretend to appreciate.

Homura:......

******************************************

Goku: Ne ne Hakkaiiiiiiiiii you haven't tell us yet where is Sanzo?

Gojyo: Yeah yeah how can you be the only one who is allow to keep that corrupt monk's secret? 

Hakkai: *had ear plugs into his ears, obviously can't stand the endless wailing from those 2*

Gojyo: *stand behind Hakkai, near his ears* HAKKAI!!!!!

Hakkai: *jumped* AH.

Gojyo: *LOL* who ask you to ignore the both of us?

Hakkai: *took out ear plugs* Me? Ignore you? How heartless of you to say that Gojyo...... *icy voice with a very scary smile*

Goku: Opps......

Gojyo: *sweating*

Hakkai grinning away and who knows what's going inside his brain....

Gojyo: Uhhh.... *sweat drop* gomen *gulped* 

Hakkai: To think I cook, I wash, I do every single thing around here and succumb to everyone's demands.... Gojyo...... you're really breaking my heart *pretend to sob*

Goku: Ahhh..... Hakkai don't cry, *grab tissue* okok gomen its our fault..... GOJYO IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!!!!

Gojyo: NANI?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT I HAD DONE?

Goku: YEAH LOOK!!!! YOU UPSET HAKKAI!!!!

Gojyo: WHY YOU BAKA SARU, YOU WERE PART OF IT TOO!!!!!

Hakkai at this moment have slipped out of the room and went off to somewhere where the 2 won't find him after they have finish their little quarrel.....

Hakkai: *smirking* Lucky I know how to get myself out of there, *look at watch* by the time they are finish I hope Kanzeon will return Sanzo.....*sigh*

******************************************

Sanzo: .... I still don't understand why must I dress in this way?

Kanzeon: Let just say you are the best person for this role.....

Sanzo: And that'll be....?

Kanzeon: *smirk* your very well-known violence attitude. 

Sanzo: *twitching* but I still don't see how.....

Kanzeon: *cut Sanzo off* Well just do as I said cutie, if not we'll be wasting too much time here arguing on why are you this why are you that..... by the way here's the instructions. *hand Sanzo a piece of paper*

Sanzo: Are you sure it'll work?? *reading the instruction paper Kanzeon handed to him*

Kanzeon: Of course. *said with a lot of confidence*

Sanzo: ........how....?

Kanzeon: Don't worry your heart out cutie, I have him hypnotized, but not to worry his strength is now just a mere human strength so it won't be a problem to you, just wait here until I give you the signal. 

Sanzo: And that will be?

Kanzeon: You'll know. *smirk*

Sanzo: ...... *doesn't like this at all*

******************************************

Homura woke up and found himself in a dark room but untied already.

Homura: Stupid @#$%*&#@ OLD HAG, what kind of treatment is this anyway??????

*Poof* Kanzeon suddenly appeared out of nowhere again.

Homura: Cough... cough must you always do this? *rubbing eyes and nose*

Kanzeon: .......

Homura: Now what are you up to? Can't you just let me go back? *almost wailing*

Kanzeon: .... the great Homura wailing..... this is almost priceless.... 

Homura: Well just get down on what you want to do.

Kanzeon: Very well Homura, since I'm the graceful, and almighty and merciful Kanzeon....

Homura:.... *vomit flowing out of his mouth*

Kanzeon: That's very rude of you..... *point to the door* just walk through it and in no time you'll be cure.

Homura: ..... how can I be sure its not something horrible behind?

Kanzeon: Well..... let's say that's also the only way out, unless you will like to stay here a little longer and play with me? *Kanzeon transform into.... okok her/his clothes transform into some kind of kinky black leather outfit.....*

Homura: !!! *quickly got up and ran toward the door*

*Opening it, bright light shown through, blinding him for a while. He recovered from the brightness and what greeted him could only made his jaws dropped*

To be continue.....

ending rant: this took me long enough to think up.... so no pairing for this chapter hmmm..... probably hopefully in the next chapter there'll be some.... anyway pls review and yes I'll try to continue this story as long as I can and make it interesting and funny too so nobody's going to get bored down by me ^^ 


	5. Chapter 5

yes yes this is the chapter where everything will probably.... be solved? not likely cos I'll want to continue to run this story but the cliffhanger has been around long enough so here's the chapter where all of you are waiting for, hopefully its not too long. Next chapter will continue but with some new plot going, hopefully I can get the Kougaiji-ikkuo to get involve, anyway Lirin is already in already ^^ Hope none of you are tired of me, of cos it'll be great if any of you have any ideas you think might actually help make this story even funnier ^O^ here is the story........

Disclaimer: Only one person own Saiyuki ^^ and that's definitely not me

Warning: Shounen ai / yaoi, missing words, spelling errors.... PG-13..... OOC..... unexpected events....... 

Pairings: ...... Homura x Sanzo (in drags......in disguise............... spoilers........) 

******************************************

Zeon was panting hard, he was too tired to go chasing those 2 *point to Shien and Lirin* trying to get his photo album back. 

Shien & Lirin: *laughing and giggling away as they look through the album together*

Zeon: .... *sweat drop* when he heard another ear piercing screams of laughers coming from the duo. gave up shook head and decided to join in the "fun" by .... being the narrator to the photo exhibition....*

Shien: Ohhh look who's suddenly interested to join in?

Lirin: I thought you were too shy to join in?

Zeon: *turning red* Of.... of course not...... 

Shien: *mocking tone* then what took you so long?

Zeon: well.... uh....er..... I'm.... er.... trying to ..... uhh... prepare my speech, yeah that's right I was preparing my speech so I can guild you all through my photos.

Shien & Lirin: -_-;;;;;;;;; 

Zeon: Hey what's that for?

Lirin: Anyway we are done with this album.....

Zeon: Well..... I have more!! *took out a tons of albums*

Shien & Lirin: OOHHHHHH *heart*

Zeon: *smirk* I managed to get one on Homura when he's a baby too.

Shien: Oh how did you managed?

Zeon: Uhhhh let's just say we have a trade? *cross fingers*

Actual fact was Zeon was rearranging his photos when Homura accidentally stumbled into his room, thus discovering Zeon's babies photos.... what followed was a lot of yelling and pushing and pulling around, so Homura as a man of honor (...????...) decided to lend Zeon's his baby photos.... (Homura said they are equaled....)

Shien: Ohhhh look at this *point at one photo*

Lirin: What What!!! *very excited*

Zeon: *join in*

All trio burst out laughing, Shien was pointing to a photo showing a 1 year old Homura walking around naked...... cos he's diapers had came loose and he was sort of dragging it.

At this moment, Homura was probably sneezing away very very hard.....

******************************************

Back to where Homura is now.....

Homura: Arrgghhhhh my eyes!!!!!!!!! *cover his eyes from the bright light*

Sanzo: ....... *softly* baka........ *trying best not to punch Homura*

Homura: *rub eyes and slowly open them* ?

Sanzo: *saw Kanzeon behind winking at him and then disappear* .....ahem *adjusting voice*

Homura: *managed to finally open eyes* Rinrei.....?

(...... so now shall we call Sanzo "imposter Rinrei or... anyway do tell me if I got the name wrong.....)

Sanzo (in disguise......): *felt like puking.....*

Homura: RINREI~~~~~~~ *run forward and tried to hug....... Sanzo..... but he doesn't know its Sanzo cos he's been hypnotized* 

Sanzo (in disguise....): *took out the extra huge paper fan from under his skirt......* *WHACK WHACK*

Homura: Itai~~~~ Rinrei why did you do that for?

Sanzo (in disguise.....): Why? Cos you gotten into depression and forgotten how much I suffered. *almost puking..... especially when he has to mask his manly voice.....* You GOOD FOR NOTHING USELESS *beep* *beep*!!!!!!!

Homura: =O *thinking* I never knew Rinrei can be so violent.......

Sanzo (in disguise.....): *WHACK WHACK* *he's really starting to enjoy this part* You... you broke me heart, becos you can't fulfill our dream of our new earth and heaven.... *pretend to sob* (author note:... i knw i knw its Houmra's goal, but let's pretend that Rinrei wanted this as well ok.....)

Homura: Rinrei ....... *wanted to hug .... uhh.... Sanzo*

Sanzo (in disguise....): *saw this coming, threw a punch at Homura......*

Kanzeon: *who was watching all along, slapped her forehead.....* baka you're NOT suppose to punch him....... *talking to Sanzo using telepathy....*

Sanzo (in disguise....): *replying back* can't help it....... 

Homura: *rub head* Rinrei...... you're angry with me.....? *sob*..... *run and grab.... uhhh.... Sanzo's legs* I promise you I'll fulfill our dream, please don't be angry.... *sobbing*

Sanzo (in disguise....): *almost wanted to go -- *&%$#@$%^$#$% GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!!!!!!!, but didn't thankfully........* uhhh...... of course I won't *trying very hard to control voice* that is if you get back to what you were doing.

Homura: really? *wet puppy eyes*

Sanzo (in disguise....): *thinking* i think I've seen this somewhere before..........

Goku sneezed at this moment

Sanzo (in disguise.....): Of course..... my dear Homura....... *really trying really very hard to control voice* -_-+++++++++++++++++++++

Homura: GREAT!!!!!!! *hug uh..... Sanzo...*

Sanzo (in disguise....): *SHOCK*

Homura: *so happy* I promise you with my life I'll fulfill our dreams *big splashing waves scene behind* Now.... I really miss you.... *try to bring ..... uhhh Sanzo's face close to his....*

Sanzo (in disguise.....): *Reflex in mode* *Gave Homura the most powerful punch he could and hit his head with a huge hammer he gotten out from under his skirt*

Homura: *seeing stars.......* Rinrei.... I love youuuuuuu~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *faint*

Sanzo: phew......

Kanzeon appeared

Sanzo: ..... now can I go now old HAG?

Kanzeon: .... you almost spoilt my whole plan....

Sanzo: So? He was going to KISS me. You think i'll ALLOW THAT?!

Kanzeon: well... so much for an entertaining show.....

Sanzo: *twitching* 

Kanzeon: Anyway I suppose this should be enough to bring his senses back and get rid of all the depression.... he was going through.

Sanzo:..... How come he has depression?

Kanzeon: ...... *thinking* all becos of that saru......... *talking* he.... ask for it?

Sanzo:......

Kanzeon: Anyway its time to send you back, your companions are missing you already.

Sanzo: Miss me?

Kanzeon: Oh before you go here's your reward. *threw a ball of light to Sanzo*

Sanzo: *Caught it* What's this?

Kanzeon: You'll find it handy *smirk*

Sanzo: *look inside ball of light* Oh.... *smirk*

Kanzeon: Anyway enjoy it ja ne.

POOF

********************************

Hakkai was sitting under a big tree facing a lake in front of him, he was glad nobody was looking for him, at least if there must be someone who's looking for him, hopefully its not Gojyo or Goku, if not they would go on asking him again, but thinking about his "outburst" back there, it would be very unlikely.....

Hakkai: *feeling sleepy with Hakuyuu resting on his shoulder. Closing his eyes.....*

BANG!!!!!!!!

Hakkai: *jump* AHH!!!! *look around*

Sanzo: That b****, can't she put me down probably.

Hakkai: Sanzo you're back, so how was it? *smile*

Sanzo: Yes and that was one.... wait a minute how come you...?

Hakkai: *cover mouth*

Sanzo: Don't pretend, you knew where I was right? 

Hakkai: Uhhhhh *sweat drops*

Sanzo: How dare you let the old hag take me???!!!!!

Hakkai: Uhhhhhhh *sweating till it was almost raining* Well..... at least she gave us a covered jeep now.......

Sanzo: ........

Hakkai:.... by... the way *trying to change subject* why are wearing like that Sanzo?

Sanzo: What? *look down and saw he was still in disguise, long wig, completed with a pink long lacy dress and not to forget make-up too* AHHHHHH!!!!!! *ripped those clothes off and quickly run to the lake to wash his face*

Hakkai: *trying hard not to laugh* sanzo I got some clothes here with me, maybe you can wear them first ne?

Sanzo: *glare* Say one thing out and I kill you, understand?

Hakkai: *sweat drop* Hai hai

********************************************

Back to Homura

He was back in the clinic (remember), still lying on the couch, apparently waiting for the doctor...

Homura: It was a dream.... ouch..... *stomach and head hurt, then he saw the bruise on his face* No it wasn't a dream, Rinrei did appear in my dream and she help me through my crisis...... I'll fulfill our Rinrei!!! *say with a lot of determination*

Nurse no.1: Mr Homura where r u going, Dr U is coming soon

Homura: I'll fulfill our dream Rinrei, for I'm the Toushin Taishi. *obviously didn't hear what the nurse said*, went off back to the Tower* Mwahahahaha Son Goku wait for me.

******************************************

Back at the inn

Goku: Sanzo~~~~ you're back, where have you been?

Gojyo: Yeah yeah heard you were on some date was it true?

Hakkai: *jump, and shot a glare at Gojyo*

Sanzo: *Gojyo* who said I was on a date?

Gojyo: uhhh *can't say cos Hakkai is glaring at him......*

Goku: Ne Sanzo did you get anything back to eat, I'm starving....

Sanzo: You're always hungry, baka saru...

Goku: But I'm still a growing boy~~~~~~

Gojyo: So where exactly did you go?

Goku: Sanzo~~~~ I'm hungry~~~~~~

Gojyo: Huh huh quick tell us

Goku: Hungry~~~~~~~~

Gojyo: Come on tell us already.

Sanzo: *twitching* -_-++++++++++++++++++++ SSHHHHUUUUTTTTTTTTT UUUUUPPPPPPPP *suddenly something in his pocket shone and....*

WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Goku & Gojyo: Itai~~~~ that was 2 times more painful then usual......

Sanzo: *holding a big golden paper fan aka gift/reward from Kanzeon, could actually see Sanzo was very happy with it*

Goku & Gojyo: gulp....... extra huge golden fan.........

*******************************************

to be continue

ending rant: at last it done, I'll continue again in the next chapter with more funny scene, pls review thank you everyone, I'm going home already, knocking off from work ^_^ yes yes I wrote this at work =P


	6. short parody

I know.... I should be working.... *look at the stock cards ( a lot of them)...... -_-+++++* have to kill the person who made such a mess out of everything with the stock cards and expect me to work miracles out....... *sigh* 

Anyway on with the story ne? If i continue to look at my work, I might want to throw them out of the window.... Arigatou everyone who review my work~~~~~ I'm not hardworking, just that my work is making me feel kind of piss off, so I need to de-stress..... beside how can i resist temptation when I have no one here to "watch" me and there's internet connection here ^^ 

And yes nobody check the PC on my table.... basically I work in a school, a boys' sec school in Singapore, my HOD doesn't come in so often to I'm left on my own a lot. And with the lab attendants all on leave, leaving me alone in the lab all the time, I can do whatever I want ^^ but..... there's time to work and relax too so when I'm relaxing I'm writing these ^O^

Disclaimer: No No not own by me ^^..... I mean Saiyuki and Saiyuki Gaiden....

Warning: The usual stuff *bow head down*

Summary: *Everyone Wants Goku* -- short parody, something for everyone to laugh about before I can get any new ideas to write the next chapter ^^

Note: This chapter is a short one, just to get you all laughing, hope you all like it ^^

****************************************

Homura: I want Goku, not only his power but his all *smirk* *greedy greedy*

Sanzo: ..... That saru belong to me, ME ONLY!!!! *want to declare war already*

Homura: *sweat drop*

Gojyo: I.... er...... I want Goku ..... but I don't want Hakkai to find out. 

Hakkai: Are you cheating on me Gojyo?

Gojyo: *sweat drop*

Sanzo: How many time must I said that saru is MINE!!!!!

Homura: Who says?

Rinrei: I say

Homura: Rinrei???

Rinrei: I didn't know you are sooooo into young boys.....

Homura: Rinrei.... *sweating* I....

*SLAP*

Homura: Rinrei~~~~~ *run after a fuming Rinrei*

Hakkai: Opps

Kougaiji: ..... I've always been a uke, so..... if I get Goku can I be the seme?

Yaone: *sweat drop* Why is Kougaiji sama interested in small boys?

Doku: Kou are you tired of me?

Yaone: *faint*

Kou: No..... but.....

Doku: But?

Kou: I'm just sick of being a uke .....

Doku: Well I can always be the uke if you want.

Kou: ..... I prefer less hairy people.....

Doku: *heart break*

Nii: I'm not that hairy *grin*

Kou: I said I don't want to be the uke anymore!!! And beside you belong to my step mother.

Gyokumen Koushu: Oh I don't mind sharing or even having a three-some *grin evily*

Kou: *Puke Sand out*

Lirin: Noooooooo Goku is my playmate!!!!!!!!!!! He doesn't belong to any of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nataku: What?! Who says he's your playmate? I'm his best friend!!!!! So he's mine!!!!!! And I known him earlier!!!!!!!!!!!

Lirin: Oh yeah!!!!

Nataku: YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Lirin: Well I'm a girl and I'm SURE he likes girls better!!!!!!!

Nataku: Who said!!!! *take out a well preserve flower* Goku gave me this!!!!!

Lirin: NOT FAIR!!!!! Goku where are you? How come you never give me any flowers?????

Shien and Zeon: : .......... 

Konzen: He gave me a lot...... *blush* including a kiss....

Kenren:: What?

Tenpou: Konzen how could you?? *almost sobbing*

Konzen: Uhhhh...... I didn't kiss Goku, *blush even harder* It was that saru who kiss me first...

Tenpou: First? Meaning you kiss him back?

Konzen: Well......

Kenren: Tenpou are you jealous?

Tenpou: Of course....... NOT.

Konzen & Kenren: ?????

Tenpou: We all want Goku, don't you *wink*

Kenren: Yeah...... 

Konzen: What.... I didn't know you two......

Tenpou: You won't mind sharing, don't you Konzen?

Konzen: What do you mean I WON'T MIND, OF COURSE I MIND!!!!!!!!!

Sanzo: I SAID that SARU IS MINE!!!!! WHY AREN'T ANYONE LISTENING???

Konzen: OH YEAH WHO SAID HE'S YOURS!!!!!

Sanzo: I!!!!!!

Konzen: NO HE'S NOT!!!!!!!

Sanzo: YES HE IS!!!!!!!!

Konzen: NO HE'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sanzo: YES HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanzeon: ..... *sigh and shake head* Well since that cutie saru is so popular I might as well make him mine first *grin evily and off to get Goku*

Everyone pound on him/her first, grabbing him/her before he/she can get any closer to Goku.

_Goku at the other end...._

Goku: I want everyone to LEAVE me ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!

E.N: I read a fic similar before and thought it's will be interesting to put most of the major casts in. Not easy but at least I got it. Pls review arigatou~~~~~~~~

ok someone was asking what "seme" and "uke"

Seme -- top more simple explanation, the more domination one.....

Uke-- bottom more simple explanation....... less domination one....

correct me if I'm wrong......


	7. Chapter 6

Ok so here's chapter 6, I have finally thought up how to put Kougaiji into the story. And to reply a reviewer who forgotten to leave his/her name behind why everyone wants to have Goku..... its just a story my dear *wink* *smile*. Anyway here's the next chapter, please review ^O^. And yes not to forget many big THANK YOUS to all who reviewed *bow head very very low*

Disclaimer: Don't own saiyuki ^^

Warnings: Spelling errors, missing words, Yaoi, shonuen ai, PG-13, lots of very OOC going to happen....

Pairings: Kougaiji x Goku.....

Dictionary: (1) uke -- bottom.......

(2) seme -- top

Summary: Kougaiji is sick of being the uke(1) all the time, but he doesn't want any hairy guys too....*sweat drop* so he decided to go for Goku. And Sanzo is definitely seeing red, wait!!!! Homura is seeing red too?! Yanoe is jealous as well....ooohhhhhh 

**************************************************

Kougaiji: I'm really sick.....

Yanoe: Oh Kougaiji sama you're not feeling well? *heart, meaning she could spend some time alone with him*

Kougaiji: No.... I'm not really sick.....

Yanoe: But... you just said you are sick.....

Kougaiji: Oh? I was actually meaning something else......

Yanoe: I see.... what is it? Maybe by having a listening ear you might actually feel better. *happy smile*

Kougaiji: Uhh..... you sure I can tell you?

Yanoe: Of course, Kougaiji sama I'm always most willing to help in any form I can.

Kougaiji: Well.... it.....it's...like.... this..........

Yanoe turned bright red after hearing what Kougaiji said, either she was really embarrassed, or she was fuming mad that she wanted to slap Dokukakuji.

Kougaiji noticing Yanoe turning all bright red....

Kou: Ahh...... its ok I think I'll just have to find some other way then.....

Yanoe was going to say something when Lirin jumped out from nowhere and climbed onto Kou's head as how she loves to do on Sanzo.

Lirin: Ne ne onni-chan look at these~~~~~~~ *put some photos in front of Kou's face*.

Kou: What's these?

Lirin could only laugh and giggle uncontrollable. 

Kougaiji being very troubled with his little problem was obviously not interested in whatever Lirin was having so he merely leave Lirin with Yanoe and went off on his own. 

Nii (pop out from nowhere) : Ohhh what's these? 

Lirin: *chuckle* photos~~~~~ 

Nii: Ohhhh these look interesting *snicker* 

******************************************** 

Shien & Zeon were searching around the room, apparently they seen to have lose a few of Homura's baby photos, not knowing that Lirin had actually "taken" them. 

Zeon: We are SO in trouble..... if Homura finds out he's going to kill us.... 

Shien: Now now don't worry I'm sure he won't find out..... and I don't think he'll kill us, we ARE his only loyal followers..... 

Zeon: Well how can you be so sure he won't kill us....? 

Shien: Well...... 

Just then they heard footsteps, this was indeed bad, the room was in a mess with papers and books scattered all over, and if Homura was to noticed their frantic looks, they'll be dead..... 

Zeon: RUN FOR COVER!!!!! WE GOT TO FIND A HIDING PLACE!!!!!!!!! 

Shien: Where can we hide? *look around, no "hole" to hide. And there's only one window and one door* 

Zeon: We can escape by jumping out of the window, we are kamis, I'm sure we will survive. 

Shien: We are at the nth hundred floor..... 

The footsteps were nearing... 

Zeon: Well I don't care, just do something to cover all these up!!!! 

Shien: Very well...... 

The door flew open 

Homura: ...... what are the both of you doing.....? 

*********************************************** 

Meanwhile at where the Sanzo-ikkuo are now.... 

Goku: I'm..... mufff..... *Gojyo quickly cover Goku's mouth*

Goku: ERO!!!!!!!! MUFFFF!!!!!!! *Mouth still being covered*

Gojyo: *trying hard just to whisper* Baka saru u want to get hit by Sanzo's golden fan?

Goku: *mouth still covered, shook head repeatedly*

Gojyo: Then you better be quiet cause I don't want to get hit by that fan too.

Hakkai: Maa it's sure is real quiet today. Ne Sanzo?

Sanzo: Mh. *actually he was waiting for Goku and Gojyo to start a fight behind so he can use his golden fan again but.....*

***********************************************

Homura's eyes were popping out...... slamming the door shut..... probably experience shock right now

Homura: *pant* sorry to interrupt the both of you.....*pant* .... *walk off*

What did Homura saw....? Shien on top of Zeon, ohh and that's not the only thing, their clothes..... well...... half way down.......

Zeon: *scream* I can't believe you did that!!!!!!!!

Shien: *sigh* but it work didn't it?

Zeon:.... Shien....?

Shien: Yes?

Zeon: ..... are you gay....?

Shien: .... ..... ...... .....

Zeon: .... ... .... .... .....

*******************************************

The Sanzo-ikkou has finally arrived at a town of course with a lot of time Gojyo covering Goku's mouth when he was going to start bawling out loud. And Sanzo was twitching cos he was really itching to use his new fan. Anyway the first thing they did was to go to the nearby restaurant.....

After their meals......

Waitress: Sir here is the bill....

Sanzo: *without taking a glance at the bill dig into his pocket for his credit card*

After 5 minutes...........

Hakkai:.... Sanzo.....?

Sanzo:..... .... ..... *to waitress* can you come back later we might want to order a few more dishes.....

Waitress: *sensing something is amiss* very well.....

Goku: What's wrong Sanzo?

Sanzo: *gesture everyone to lean toward the middle of the table so he can speak softly* I lose my credit card.....

Hakkai, Gojyo, Goku: ..... .... .... .... .... ....

Goku, Gojyo: NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hakkai: How could that be? Sanzo are you sure you lost it, maybe u just misplace it?

Sanzo: *twitching* I only keep my credit card at one place and if its isn't there then its lost.

Goku: Now then how are we going to pay for the bill?

Gojyo: Whatever it is I think you better hurry cos the manager of this restaurant is coming over......

Everyone was getting panic when.... a man with red hair suddenly stopped the manager and it seem he had offered to pay for the Sanzo-ikkou's bill.

Gojyo: Hey.... isn't that Kougaiji?

Goku: Yeah, what's he doing here?

Hakkai: Maybe he's just passing by? *actually he was hoping to see Yanoe*

Sanzo:..... I don't like the look on his face.....

*******************************************

Nii: Please~~~~~~~ Pretty Please~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lirin: No!! *chewing on her nth pork buns*

Nii: Can't I just take another look at those photos?

Lirin: No!!

Nii: Meanie.... why?

Lirin: Cos they belong to me and I decide who gets to see them.

Nii: Oh.... *disappointed look*

Lirin: Anyway I'm just borrowing them I'll need to return them.

Nii: Oh?

*********************************************

It must have been 15 full minute since Zeon ask *that* question.

Zeon: .... .... .... .... Shien.....?

Shien: ... ... ... ... Yes... ... ...?

Zeon: ... ... ... ...about that question... ... ...

Shien: Ah... ... ... ...

Zeon: Forget it.... ... pretend that I never ask.

Shien: Oh.... ... ... ok... ... ... ...

Odd silence in the atmosphere.............

********************************************

Back to the Sanzo-ikkou 

Sanzo: What do you _want_?

Kougaiji: That's not a very nice thing to say.... considering I just helped you a while back there.....

Kougaiji had made himself comfortable at the table. Everyone is waiting for an answer, its not like everyday when your enemy will suddenly popped out from nowhere and help foot your bill.

Gojyo: Well there is something you definitely want.

Kougaiji: Well........

Sanzo must be thinking of shooting Kougaiji, if not for Hakkai who kicked Sanzo's leg when he saw Sanzo reaching for his gun.

Kou: I want to borrow Goku..... for a while.....

Everyone: WHAT!!!!!!!

Goku: Me.....? Why.....?

Kou: Well just for a little while.......

Sanzo: *twitching* and what makes you think I'll let you have him _Youkei_! 

Goku: *heart* *thinking* ohhh Sanzo you do care about me~~~~~~~~

Kou: Well let's just say I helped foot your bill, so.... ... ...

Sanzo: *slam table and jump up* I'm NOT letting you threaten me in this way, *point gun at Kougaiji's forehead* if you think you can make me, the great Sanzo give in, THINK again!!!!

Hakkai: *trying to pull Sanzo away* Sanzo.... please we are in public now..... *sweat dropping*

Gojyo: *helping Hakkai too* Yeah we don't want too much attention do we? *actually the whole restaurant is looking at them now*

Gojyo: Oi baka saru come help us!!! *look at Goku, who was apparently still blushing after hearing what Sanzo said*

Gojyo: *sweat drop* ... ... ...

Sanzo: *Push both Hakkai and Gojyo away* Ch!!!! Let's get away from this mad youkei!!!

Kou: Hey have you forgotten I pai..... *BANG*

The bullet missed Kou by only a few centimeters.

Kou: ....... its not the end.....

*******************************************

Back to where Homura is now.....

Shien: *knock* Homura? *open door and take a peep*

Homura: What? *popped up from behind the door*

Shien: You were looking for us?

Homura: *who was obviously still recovering from his shock* yes...

Zeon: Your order?

Homura: We shall visit the Sanzo-ikkou today!

Shien: Hai hai.

*******************************************

After the Homura-ikkou had left, a small figure entered their tower. Lirin was trying to sneak around and place the photos at the most unexpected place.

*******************************************

back to where Sanzo-ikkou are now....

Since they had no money and Sanzo could only get his new credit card in the next town they could only camp outside. Sanzo was still feeling jumpy about what happened during the day he was not going to take any chances of letting Kougaiji taking Goku away from him, even for a_ little while_. 

Kougaiji: *hiding behind some trees* seems like everyone's alseep.... *put some nice smelling pork buns out in the open*

Kougaiji must have know that Goku has a very keen smell so he was hoping the pork buns could lure Goku to him.

Goku who was obviously still asleep started to have a dream of a pork buns heaven when everything is pork bun. And he started to sleep walk.

Kougaiji: Good good.... come to papa......

*******************************************

Sanzo woke up to find Goku was missing, somehow he heard a small movement somewhere. 

Homura: Hello there Konzen. We have come to take Goku.

Hakkai and Gojyo woke up as well.

Homura: So you better be prepare to hand him over or else.

Hakkai: Ne.... I hate to spoil everything but.... apparently Goku is missing.....

Homura: What!!!!

Sanzo: *run up and grab Homura's clothes* You took him didn't you, now give him back!!!!!!

Homura: What the hell are you talking about?

Hakkai: Maa maa I don't think this is a good time to fight.....

Sanzo: Well I don't care if its not you who will take him!!!!!

Homura: He's your pet, you should have keep a more watchful eye on him!!!!

Gojyo: *shaking head* obviously they are not listening.....

Hakkai: .... .... .... .... *suddenly notice something*

Homura and Sanzo were apparently still trying to rip each other apart when .... *THWACK THWACK*

Homura, Sanzo: OUCH THAT'S HURT!!!!!!!!!!!

Hakkai: .... *holding the big golden fan, but he's actually enjoying the hitting part*

Hakkai: *dodge one of Sanzo's bullet* Maa maa isn't it better if we just go look for Goku now.....?

Sanzo: *Grab fan back* Ch!

Gojyo, Zeon: *sweat dropping*

************************************* 

Kou: .... you mean you never done it before?? *on top of Goku*

Goku: Uhhhh not that I remember......... *sweat drops*

Kou: Well..... it doesn't matter....

Goku: Ahhh!!!! Wait!!!! What are you doing?!!

GOKU!!!!!

Sanzo and Homura stumbled onto Kougaiji who was trying to stripped Goku.....

Kou: Uh oh.....

Sano & Homura: *twitching* HOW DARE YOU!!!!! *both ran forward and gave Kougaiji one big kick in the face*

(A.N: I'm sorry to all Kou's fans...... )

Kou: AHHHH!!!!!!!!! *saw the rest* RUNNNNNN

Goku: Waaaahhhhhh Sanzo!!!! *crying, run and grab hold of Sanzo*

Homura: *pout*

Sanzo: There there don't cry. *shoot a _I win_ look at Homura*

The rest: *sweat dropping*

So in the end both Sanzo-ikkou and Homura-ikkou didn't end up fighting..... somehow..... maybe becos Goku won't let go of Sanzo......

*************************************

After being kicked by 2 very jealous men, Kougaiji at last made it back safe. Yanoe as usual is helping dress his wounds.....

Kou: ..... so both of them end up kicking me.....ouch..... Yanoe could you be more gently?

Yanoe: I'm sorry Kougaiji sama *apparently fuming* 

Kou: Ouchie!

(A.N: Kou Kou you really pick the wrong person to be your listening ear.....)

*************************************

Back to Homura....

He was going to sit down on his throne when....

Homura: What's this...? *pick up the things on his throne*

Homura: *Eyes popped out* ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Zeon: *hiding under Shien's bed* You sure he won't find me here....?

Shien: Don't worry. *grin*

Author's ending note: So do you all still want me to continue with this? Please review. ^_^


	8. Chapter 7

Thank you all who review yes yes I'll continue its not easy trying to get inspirations to continue writing but thankfully a new idea popped out just as I was thinking of putting this story on hold for a few weeks before anything will pop out in my brain....

Dictionary: (1) uke -- bottom.......

(2) seme -- top

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki

Warning: the usual....

Pairings: hee hee *evil grin* Kanzeon x Homura ?? (wow that's new...) Hakkai x Gojyo and (maybe) Sanzo x Goku..... 

Summary: Sanzo lost his golden fan this time, what's happening why is he losing his stuff?? Lirin found some love arrows and decided to test them out..... Homura got shot and has fallen in love with....?? And what's that? Someone is saving some of the love arrows for.....?

*****************************************

Sanzo: *twitching* .... .... .... .... 

Hakkai: Sanzo.... I can explain this.....

Sanzo: *twitching* well you better cos if not I'm gotten start shooting..... *apparently found a large bite off from his golden fan*

Gojyo: Hey!!! You can't just shoot, how are we going to continue our journey...?

Goku: *holding Hakuryu in his arms*

Hakkai: Well.... *sweat drop* you see.... Hakuryu.... well.... goes into.... a kind of.... habit..... once every 2 years...... to want to eat a certain kind of thing..... (AN: I made this up....)

Sanzo: *rise eye brown* You mean a kind of craving?

Hakkai: Err.... yes exactly......

Gojyo: And so Hakuryu seems to be having a craving for golden color things.....

Hakkai: Exactly........

Gojyo: *Jump* meaning......

Goku: Ahhh !!!!!!! Hakuryu what are you trying to do, eat my limiter???!!!!!!!!

Hakkai: *Quickly hold onto Hakuryu while Gojyo take a big white cloth to cover Goku* Hakuryu you can't eat Goku's limiter, we don't want to deal with a youkei Goku... do we?

Sanzo: *twitching* so when will Hakuryu's craving stop?

Hakkai: *sweat drop* well..... he won't eat anything else.... but his craving should stop in a few days time.....

Goku: *peeping out from his cover* How long does it usually last?

Hakkai: about a week........

Gojyo: Then what is Hakuryu going to eat? We can't just let it starve can we? *thinking evil*

Sanzo: *twitching* I'm not going to give up my golden fan!!!!!

Hakkai: *smile* then we'll have to let Hakuryu eat your newly issue credit card, Goku's limiter and maybe if we can just purchase some golden color things somewhere.

Sanzo:...... I don't mind......

Hakuryu somehow gotten free from Hakkai's hold and is now trying to eat Sanzo's hair.....

Sanzo: Ahhh!!! On second thought.... *throw golden fan to Hakuryu*

******************************************

Lirin was going through all the junks in the basement when she happened to stumble onto some very interesting things. 

Lirin: Hmmmm *look at the instruction booklet* Love arrow?? *thinking for a while* Haaaa I wanna try them out ^___^ 

*****************************************

Homura: Hello Konzen.

Gojyo: What do you want THIS time?

Homura: Isn't it obviously? *thinking* Konzen not around??

Gojyo: Goku?

Homura: ...... *thinking* I'm getting a little too predictable.... 

Zeon: We are here for the sutra.

Gojyo: ok.... at least that's something refreshing to hear.

Shien: So shall we..... wait where is Goku and Sanzo?

Hakkai: Well...... 

Homura: By the way......

Hakkai: Yes?

Homura: Why is your dragon staring at me like that?

Hakkai: Ahhhh put on some sunglasses....

But before Homura could register what Hakkai was saying Hakuryu sort of wanted to eat his golden eyes. Hakkai quickly threw a pair of sunglasses to Shien who managed to put it on Homura. 

After a few minutes....

Shien: Sou ka......

Zeon: This is ...... 

Hakkai: Strange? I know oh well....

Shien: Are you sure it's not pregnant? 

Hakkai: No... its just a craving, it'll pass....

Gojyo: Yeah at least Hakuryu is going for golden coloured thing, you should have seen the last time, it had got a craving for blue coloured things.

Hakkai: And it apparently ate up most of Gojyo's underwe.... muff... *mouth got covered by Gojyo*

In another room away from Hakuryu

Sanzo: *with a lot of acid* welcome to the hiding club.

Sanzo is wearing a black hat that's covering almost all of his hair, Goku is wearing a sunglasses and a jacket with a hood that cover his limiter. Homura.... just a pair of cool sunglasses.

Homura: Well..... I guess we will have to stop our fight for a while, I don't want some dragon coming to me in the middle trying to eat me...

Sanzo: It's just an eye.

Homura: So? It's my eye, not yours!!

Sanzo: Yeah but do you think I want to go bald?!!

Goku: Will you 2 be quiet? Or is it better to just let Hakuryu eat my limiter?

Sanzo, Homura: *sweat drop*

********************************************

Lirin managed to find the Sanzo ikkou as well as the Homura ikkou.

Lirin: Something doesn't look right.... *peeping through window* Nvm I only want to try out these arrows.

So Lirin slipped into the inn without anyone noticing......

*********************************************

Meanwhile Kanzeon was feeling really bored, and seeing the Sanzo ikkou's little problem, and the incoming event, he/she decided to go down and join in the fun.

********************************************

SAZNO BALDIE~~~~~~~~~

Sanzo: Oh no.......

Lirin jumped on to Sanzo

Sanzo: Get off of me, Lirin!!!!

Lirin: Ne? Why are you wearing this odd looking hat??

Sanzo: That's none of your business!!!! Now get off me!!!!!!

PROOF

Everyone coughed

Homura: .... Kanzeon!!!!!

Sanzo: Shit!!!!

Goku: *pick up something Lirin dropped* ne what is this? *pull trigger*

AAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Goku: Opps...

Just then Hakkai and the others opened the door after hearing all the commotion going on inside the room.

Homura opened his eyes, after apparently being shot by an arrow from the device Goku was playing, the first thing or rather the first person he saw.

Homura: Kanzeon I'm in love with you, will you marry me?

Everyone fall down

*************************************

Hakkai: So you are saying that these are love arrows?

Lirin: That's right.

Shien: This is bad....

Gojyo: Hey it couldn't be worse right, at least Homura is in love with Kanzeon, and not with any of us.....

Zeon: True and Kanzeon is sure enjoying it.

In another room...... a lot of noise coming from inside there......

Hakkai: Well these looks to me more like lust arrows rather than love arrows....

Goku: How long will it last?

Gojyo: *look at instruction book* about a few hours or so......

All: ......

Hakkai: By the way Sanzo is sure quiet ne?

Sanzo: *deep in thought* Hmmmm

Lirin: Anyway they are not fun, I dun want them anymore, you can have it. *threw the arrows to the rest*

Zeon: So.... what shall we do about these? *point to the arrows*

Shien: It'll be better to throw them away.

Hakkai: Agree totally.

So they have the arrows burnt, or so they think......

**********************************************

Shien and Zeon had left, well leaving Homura and Kanzeon to their little business....... the Sanzo ikkou had also decided to change inn since it will be impossible to sleep with those noise.

Gojyo: *peep around* lucky I managed to save some of these arrows. Maybe I can use them on Hakkai (AN: Gojyo you naughty boy)

Gojyo stalked in the darkness and approached Hakkai's room. He opened it and went in. It was dark he couldn't see very well, but he knew very well Hakkai will be asleep. He was going to use the arrow on Hakkai when.....

Gojyo?

Gojyo: Yikes!!

Hakkai was apparently standing behind him, looks like the figure on the bed was just pillow and blankets

Gojyo: Hakkai?

Hakkai: And you thought I'll let you use those on me? *grin and pin Gojyo down* What make you think i'll be the uke(1)?

****************************************

The next morning......

Shien saw Homura making his way back. 

Shien: Homura you're back..... Homura...?

Homura: *smirk* I feel like a man~~~~

From somewhere ....

Kanzeon: Ch' what do you mean you feel like a man, I was afterall the seme(2).

*************************************

Gojyo: Ne Hakkai?

Hakkai: Yes?

Gojyo: Do you think Sanzo actually use those arrows last nite (either on himself or Goku)?

Hakkai: Oh he kept some too?

Gojyo: Well what do you think?

Hakkai: Hmmm.... 

Gojyo: I bet he did.

Hakkai: Why?

Gojyo: Cos he sure look damn happy today.

*******************************************

Ending Rant: Hee hee so I'll leave the question open on whether Sanzo really use those arrows to get onto Goku, actually i can't decide if I should let him use it so I'll leave this question open ^_^ Next chapter will probably be some new chapters hopefully maybe something on whether Shien is gay? And yes its not the end of those arrows *smirk*


	9. special parody

heehee so the questions go on.... 

Summary: So.... is Shien gay? Did Sanzo use those arrows? here is the special edition parody which is actually more like the cast saying out some things to clear some misunderstanding abt us fans have abt them or so they think, it's only making it worse hahahaha

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki

Rating PG-13

Warning: Lots of OOC and the usuals.....

***********************************************

_Why is Homura always the badie?_

Homura: Oh why.... *sob* why does everyone always write me as such a bad villain in all those fanfics? *SOB*

Konzen: Becos you deserve it you idiot, going around in the anime saying you want Goku Goku.....

Homura: Konzen?

Konzen: What?

Homura: Have I ever tell you, you have the most beautiful eyes?

Konzen: No.....

Homura: Well..... you have lovely eyes *steal glances at Konzen*

Konzen: Ch' that saru beat you in saying that.

Homura: What!!

Konzen: And Homura....

Homura: Yes?

Konzen: Stop acting like a gay....

Homura: Why? What's wrong with that?

Konzen: Cos....

Homura: Cos I frigthen you? 

Konzen: Sort of......and....

Homura: And?

*Behind Homura, Tenpou and Gaiden Goku, are all having the murderous look. *

Homura: *sweat drops*

Kanzeon: *appear* well if Konzen is not available, I'm always available for you *smirk*

Homura: *sweat dropping until its raining* AHHHHHHHHHHHH MUMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************

_Is Shien gay?_

Shien: ... ... ... ... ...

Hakkai: So?

Shien: What are you doing here?

Hakkai: Well someone will have to be in this section to get this story going, so I volunteer.

Shien: Where's the others?

Hakkai: Homura's in the other section *point* my pals are in another section *point* Zeon.... hmmmm I haven't seem him since this morning......

Shien: Oh?

Hakkai: So Shien are you ready to answer that *point above* question.

Shien: Well........... no......

Hakkai: Oh? Then why it took you so long to answer?

Shien: I'm just wondering should i just answer I want to be a typical yaoi fan girl....

Hakkai: oh.... but you're not a girl....

Shien: I can pass off as one if I let my hair down.

Hakkai: well someone once said I'm beautiful maybe we can try cross dressing one day.

Shien: Hey that's a good idea.

Hakkai: *heart* maybe we can fool everyone.

Shien:*excited* yeah yeah

So the both of them went on discussing what they should do, buy to get into cross dressing......

***************************************

_Did Sanzo use those love arrows?_

Gojyo: Come on admit it, you did.

Sanzo: For the last time I said I didn't.

Gojyo: Oh really I saw you hiding some of those arrows....

Sanzo: Ch, i didn't them!!!

Gojyo: So you did keep some

Sanzo: So?

Gojyo: But...... you didn't use them?

Sanzo: No.

Gojyo: Why?

Sanzo: Ch why do I need them anyway?

Gojyo: Well......

Sanzo: That saru is mine so I don't need any of those arrows.

Gojyo: Then why are you keeping them?

Sanzo: *smirk* So the next time I see that idiot Homura or that pathetic Kougaiji I'll shoot them with those arrows and make them face a cow or goat or even a tree.

Gojyo: Sanzo is so scary.....

Sanzo: That saru is mine and MINE ONLY!!!

****************************************

_Why do everyone wants Goku?_

Goku: I dunno.....

Kou: Cos he's irresistable.

Nii: Is it?

Konzen: He's always been like that since in the past....

Goku: Konzen? I thought you were in the other room?

Konzen: Well I was but.....

In the other room, Tenpou is trying to make pork chop out of Homura (remember a lot of doujinshi out there are abt Tenpou x Konzen so.....) Homura running and hidding, and Gaiden Goku has remove his limiter and is trying to bite Homura's head off.... Kanzeon is merely enjoying the show.......

Goku: Sou ka....

Kou: And he's cute, he's innocent, pure, beautiful, ..... *lost in his daydream*

Konzen: *took out one of those love arrow, shot Kou and make him turn toward Nii*

Kou: oh shit...... 

Nii: Oh goodie.

Doku: KOU!!!! *burst into room*....... *to find Nii on top of Kou and Kou can't seem to get enough of Nii*

Konzen and Goku had already left the room and went off elsewhere.....

Doku: *heart give way*

Yanoe: *pop out* what happen? *saw what's happening and faint*

Lirin: Hey what's all those noise?

Doku: *quickly push Lirin out as well as carry Yanoe out* Nothing!!!!! 

*************************************

_And where the hell is Zeon?_

Kenren: Hey i think its alright to come out.

Zeon: Really?

Kenren: Yeah the truth is out, Shien is not gay, he's just interested in yaoi.

Zeon: Oh....

Kenren: So you don't have to be soooo afraid of him.

Zeon: Who says I'm afraid of him?

Kenren: Nobody, but you act like you are.

Zeon: Oh is it that obvious?

Kenren: Ask the fans?

Zeon:.... want a smoke?

Kenren: Sure. *grin*

******************************************

Okie I'm done wif this special parody hope everyone like it, please review ~~~~~~~~ to be continue~~~~~~~


	10. Chapter 8

Oh my.... I forgotten all about Nataku..... i bet he's feeling glad cos he's not in my previous chapters...... MWAHAHAHAHAHA~~~~ you won't be able to escape anymore Nataku since someone mention i forgotten all abt u.... ok, ok ignore me I'm currently going thro some kind of madness..... Anyway on with chapter 8 ne? Arigatou to all who review.

And yes I'm sorry it took me so long to come out with chapter 8 cos I'm in the midst of resigning and preparing for my overseas studies.....

Disclaimer: I have been doing this for the past few chapters.... I believe its understandable by now....

Warning/ Rating: Same as above....

Pairing: Ohhh this is new~~~~~~ 

Summary: Nataku felt he's being left out from all the fun so he decide to go down and pay the Sanzo-ikkou a visit. Ah? Nataku got shot by one of those love arrow, he's in love with?? Talk about wrong visiting time..... 

******************************************

In heaven.....

Nataku: It's not fun why is everyone having fun and I'm not? *pout*

Kanzeon: Then get your butt of from your coma condition.

Nataku: That's right, why didn't I think about it? *eyes light up*

Kanzeon: *shake head* 500 years of slumber must be causing your brain cells to deteriorate.

Nataku: I'm going down NOW!!

Kanzeon: You're not going *like that* are you?

Nataku: Like what? *puzzled look*

Kanzeon: *slap head* you're not back into your body yet....

Nataku: Oh yeah *still in spirit form*

*******************************************

Homura: We are going to get the sutra this time.

Zeon: Let's hope we get it.... not like the last few times.....

Homura: *glare at Zeon* Ahem.... OF COURSE we'll get it this time. 

Shien: Then let's get going. *genki spirit*

Zeon: Well, Shien sure seem very enthusiastic.... 

Homura: *praying hard* oh pls let nothing go wrong THIS time......

******************************************

At where Sanzo-ikkou is, all is peaceful..... with the occasion wailing sounds and gun shots, but all is still peaceful until......

Homura: We GOT you this time!!!!!

Sanzo: *slap head* not you again.

Homura: That's right its me again and this time I'm taking the sutra now hand it over!

Goku: No you won't!!

Hakkai: This is getting all so familiar...

Shien: Yes and I believe they don't even need to remember what lines they are suppose to say...

Hakkai: That's right.....

Gojyo: Got a light?

Zeon: Why yes of course.

Gojyo: Aren't you 2 going into fight us?

Shien: Well.... I'm not in a figthing mood since I have something I need to discuss with Hakkai here...

Gojyo: Oh? *suspicious*

Hakkai: Well then why don't we go to one side and discuss then? *smile*

Gojyo: Hey hey the both of you are acting like some secretive girls....

Shien and Hakkai: Oh? *grin*

Gojyo: *sweat drops* And what about you?

Zeon: Me? I say we have go fishing, its been a long time since I fish.

Gojyo: Ohhh~~~~ for real fish or chicks?

Zeon: Hee hee you know

Gojyo: Count me in

Homura: Shien! Zeon! *turn around and saw they are gone* !!!!!!

Sanzo: Looks like you are outnumbered.

Goku: Ne Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo are missing too....

Sanzo: WHAT!!! Those 2..... *twitch twitch*

Homura: Ha! And do you think both of you can defeat me? I am the Fighting God, don't forget that!

Sanzo: *snicker* and i got just the thing to use on you.

Goku:?

Homura: O_O don't tell me it's....?

Sanzo: That's right!! The "love" arrow!! Goku hit him hard!!

Goku: *though couldn't figure out what was really going on...* HAI!!!

*WHACK*

Homura: ITAI!!! Hey watch where you are hitting you're not my mommy, only my mommy can hit my head!!!!

Goku:.....*sweat drop*

Sanzo: Shinneeeeee!!!!!!!! *shoot arrow*

Goku managed to dived to a side and Homura was completely caught off guard....

Yes off guarded by what happen next.........

Nataku: Hi Goku~~~~~~~~~ OUCH!!!!!

Homura, Sanzo & Goku: O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Nataku: Hey watch where you shoot that arrow.......

Homura: this is bad......

Nataku: ...... Sanzo I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! *run forward grab Sanzo and refused to let go*

Sanzo: Get off me *trying to push Nataku away* that arrow was not meant to shoot you!!!!!!

Homura: And what were you planning to do after you shoot me? *standing there with his hands fold*

Sanzo: Make you face a cow, you idiot!!!!

Homura: .....

Goku: ....... ne who is that boy?

Sanzo: How should i know *still trying to get Nataku to let go* LET GO!!!!! *whack whack*

Nataku: I love~~~~~~ you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**************************************

TO BE CONTINUE

Ending note: I know this is short but bear with me pls..... I'll continue this asap......


	11. Chapter 9

Author's note: ............. so nobody staying in Sydney or Newcastle...... sad..... so poor me have to venture my way to the Uni all by myself....sob...... and to answer everybody's question on why I'm going away, I'm going for further studies, but I'll still be around.... but perhaps a week or 2 after the 16th of Feb I won't be able to be online cos I'm settling into my new life in Australia and maybe getting to Uni to give me a internet line in my own room....... Anyway on with the story ne....

Disclaimer: As stated before I won't repeat it again ^_^;;;;

Warning/Rating: as above

Pairing: (A very unwilling) Sanzo & Nataku 

Summary: Nataku got shot by the arrow ..... but what could be done when Nataku juz won't let go? Oh? Nii has a cure.... and what is Homura and Goku doing together in a strip tease bar?

****************************************

Sanzo: I TOLD you to LET GO!!!!!! *trying to push Nataku away*

Nataku: But Konzen I love you~~~~~

Sanzo: For the last time I'm Sanzo NOT Konzen!!!! Strangely you called me Sanzo just now.....

Nataku: Ah...? It doesn't matter, I love you~~~~~~~

Sanzo: You idiot!!!! You love me because of the stupid love arrow!!!! *still trying to push Nataku away* And stop staring like me like THAT!!!!! Goku!!!!! Where are you???????

****************************************

Homura: ....... Am I suppose to do something now.....?

Goku: *eyeing at Homura suspiciously*

Homura: .... but then with the situation becoming so....... *obviously talking to himself*

Goku: ........*sulking*

Homura: .......

Goku: ......*still sulking*

Homura: Uhhhh Goku....?

Goku: What?

Homura: Since Kon.... I mean Sanzo is currently busy with Nataku.... why don't we....

Goku: We what....? *start moving away from Homura*

Homura: *come closer to Goku, put arm around Goku's waist* We.....

Goku: *don't like it at all*

Homura: We go for a drink~~~~~

Goku: Nani?? *quite relieve actually*

Homura: What's wrong with that?

Goku: Well Hakkai said I'm underage....

Homura: ....well 18 years old is the legal age to drink....

Goku: Is it?

Homura: Yeah.

Goku: So this means they (referring to the other 3, all sneezing by now) were all lying to me.....

Homura: ........

Goku: Let's go then.

****************************************

Shien: What do you think of this?

Hakkai: Try this one instead.

Shien: *pout* why did you keep asking me to change to this one?

Hakkai: Well..... it fit you better......

Shien: But I don't even like it.....

Hakkai: But it fit you nicely......

Shien: ......very well then...... but do you still think whips suit me better?

Hakkai: Of course, I don't see why you will want to change into using swords, I mean....they don't even look flexible to me.....

Shien: Oh my look at the time we must really get back to the others.....

Hakkai: Hai hai.

***********************************************

Sanzo: Will you just let go.....?

Nataku: But I love you~~~~

Sanzo: Yes I know that *twitch* but can't you just let go for a while!!!!!

Nataku: hmmmmmm.....

Sanzo: Well are you letting go or not?!

Nataku: No~~~~~

Sanzo: Shit *slap head* where is Goku when I meet him?

********************************************

Zeon: Hey look at that~~~~

Gojyo: Woo she's hot~~~~~

Zeon: Told you this place is good.

Gojyo: *nod nod* leave it to the "old guys" to show you around huh?

Zeon: He he told you I know better place.

*Note: They are uhhh......in a strip tease bar*

Gojyo: Hey...isn't that....?

Zeon: Nani.......

*******************************************

Hakkai: ..... Sanzo....who's that?

Sanzo: How should I know??

Hakkai: But he's clutching onto you...... like a Kola bear...

Sanzo: I know...*twitching* he said his name is Nataku....

Hakkai: Ohhh..... konnichiwa Nataku, why are you clutching to Sanzo?

Nataku: Cos I love him~~~~~~~

Sano: *slapped head*

Hakkai: Ahh..... I suppose you shot him accidentally.....

Sanzo: "That" was meant for Homura......

Hakkai: I see..... now what are we suppose to do..... and where's Goku?

Sanzo: How should I know?

Just then Nii popped out from..... uhhh nowehere?

Nii: Hi there.

Sanzo: What do you want?

Nii: Oh i was just taking my afternoon stroll....

Sanzo: Of all places..

Nii: Well actually I'm here to offer you a cure to those love arrows.

Sanzo: *got all attentive* What's the cure?

Nii: Well.... it'll be expensive~~~~

Sanzo: *flash credit card* State your price.

Nii: Actually I was hoping for something more like a favour...

Hakkai and Sanzo: Oh.

**************************************

Gojyo: Yup that's them alright....

Zeon: And I'm surprise..... Homura can't even hold his liquor well.....

Gojyo: To think that sura beat him.

Zeon: Well but how in the world they both end up drinking with each other?

Gojyo: Why don't you ask how in the world they end up in a strip tease bar drinking together instead.

Zeon: True....

Gojyo: And to think this sura is a better drinker..... I still need to carry him back.....

Zeon: Well Goku is lighter, compare with someone.... *Zeon dragging a drunken Homura*

*****************************************

Hakkai: What is it that you will need us to do you a favour?

Sanzo: It doesn't matter just tell me how to cure this idiot who has been clutching onto me for the past 2 hours.

Nii: Well the cure is simple.... all you need to do to get him out of his love struck behaviour is to.......

Sanzo & Hakkai: Nani??!!

Nii: Simple isn't it?

To be continue...

Ending note: Yes~~~~ I'm evil another cliffhanger Mwahahaha dun blame me..... anyway pls review I'll try to get the next chapter up within a week. Try...... cos I'm trying to finish up my preparation for my overseas studies.......


	12. Chapter 10

Author's opening rant: haha ..... I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger just that I really need time to decide what's the cure too..... Anyway don't worry the cure has nothing to do with..... ahem s** but then the cure..... hmmm read on but poor Nataku will have to endure for a while........ and yes Nataku's fans and Gojyo's fans pls don't kill me after reading this.....

Disclaimer: As before

Warning/Rating: As before

Pairing: ......

Summary: They got the cure....but how are they going to find the "ingredient"? Wait there's a plan B!! And the 4 stating their terms and condition to Nii what they won't do. 

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Sanzo: And where in the world do you think we are going to find any smelling salt?

Hakkai: That's indeed the strangest cure I ever heard for a lust problem.....

Nii: Well like i said its simple.

Hakkai: Very simple indeed.....

Sanzo: *twitch* Nataku can you pls juz stop holding me I can't move and I can't sit at all!!!!

Nataku: But I love you~~~~

Hakkai and Nii: Sweatdrops....

Nataku: And no way you are going to make me swallow any smelling salts, they are already so smelly .... and I really love you~~~~~

Sanzo: *slap head*

Nii: Well if you can't make him swallow smelling salts, you can always go for a plan B.

Hakkai: Hmmmm ....... I believe a plan B will do?

Sanzo: I don't care what kind of plan B it is as long as it works.

Hakkai: Ah then I believe we'll need to wait for Gojyo to return.

Sanzo: ? what kind of plan B are you talking about?

Hakkai: *smile* a very obvious plan B isn't it Sanzo?

Sanzo: *stare at Nataku for a while, look up and grin evily* Ah..... I see.

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Gojyo: AH CHOO....someone thinking of me *chuckle*

Goku: Bless you.....

Gojyo: ?! *drop Goku on the floor* You're awake at last you baka saru, you're so heavy.

Goku: Who are you calling baka saru, you ero kappa!!

Gojyo: But what were you doing with Homura in a strip tease bar?

Goku: Strip tease bar?

Gojyo: *stare at Goku* nothing.... what were you doing with Homura anyway?

Goku: Uhh... drinking?

Gojyo: Yes yes i can see that but how?

Goku: *scratch head and ponder* hmmmm

Gojyo: ....

Goku: Ah!!!

Gojyo: *jump* what!!!

Goku: Sanzo accidentally shot a boy with the love arrows and then he was busy with the boy so Homura thought since he didn't have the mood to fight we might as well go for a drink....

Gojyo: *slap head* you really have a brain of a saru....

Goku: Who are you calling a saru!!!!!!

Gojyo: Can't you see Homura is up to no good what if he got you drunk and you know.....

Goku: Know what......

Gojyo: Well you know........

Goku: *look confused*

Gojyo: Oh forget it.

Goku: *still look confused*

Gojyo: *thinking* this saru should thank me if I haven't slip a pill into Homura's drink while he and Zeon weren't looking, this saru would have been the first to get drunk and who knows who Homura might do to him........

Goku: Ne... Gojyo you're turning red.....

Gojyo: Ah? It's hot......

Goku: ......

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Sanzo: I swear when I see the 2 of them I'll blow their brains away!!!

Hakkai: Ma ma Sanzo you should really watch your blood pressure and all the cigarettes you are smoking or your life will bound to get shorter with all the stress you are putting on yourself. *still the usual smiling Hakkai*

Sanzo: Stress? Won't you feel stress if there's this out of nowhere kid just keep holding you for 5 hours.... and with Nii here too.

Nii: Well I'm pretty harmless (for now) so you won't need to worry about me.

Hakkai: Sumimasen but what is it that you want us to do for you?

Nii: Well let's just get this boy cured first I'm a man of honor I won't ask for something before you all get what you want first.

Sanzo: Ch' *thinking* and what makes you think I'll keep my part of the deal.

Hakkai: Ah you're both back.

Gojyo: Nii!!!!!

Goku: What is he doing here!!!!!!

Hakkai: calm down he's here becos he's offering us a cure to that. *point to Sanzo's direction*

Gojyo: Ohhhh

Nataku: Ah Goku you're back~~~~~~~~ *run one hand still grabbing Sanzo the other quickly grabbed Goku...... you can imagine 3 people sandwich together*

Goku: Itaii!!!!! 

Sanzo: ..... *blush* 

Goku: uhhhh gomen ne Sanzo didn't mean to....... *sweat drop*

..... well Hakkai, Gojyo and Nii might NOT have seen it but when Sanzo, Goku and Nataku got sandwich together Goku's hand accidentally....... you know.......

Hakkai: ....... its getting worse than I thought, now with all 3 of them sandwich together it'll be more difficult to get Nataku cure......

Gojyo: .....*trying hard not to laugh out loud*

Hakkai: And I don't think Nataku is going to let go of Goku too.....

Nataku: Goku I miss you so so so sooooooooo much~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *try to rub cheek with Goku*

Sanzo: *push Nataku's head away* What do you think you're trying to do? 

Nataku: *blink* Oh.... I can rub cheek with you if you want too.

Goku: Ahhhhh!!! How can you do that to Sanzo????

Nataku: *look at Goku* I won't mind sharing, I hope you won't mind too~~~~~~

Sanzo: *blush and slap head*

Nii: I think you better solve this before Sanzo sama going to start shooting.

Hakkai: Hai.... Gojyo I need your help.

Gojyo: Hai what is the cure?

Hakkai: Well......

Gojyo: Well?

Hakkai: Well..... I need something from you.......

Gojyo: ....what......? *starting to get suspicious*

Hakkai: Uhh..... it's kind of personal.......

Gojyo:...... *turning red with all the dirty thoughts* well just say it we don't have time for this!

Hakkai: *sigh* very well but promise me you won't be angry....

Gojyo: OK ok just get on with it.

Hakkai: I need your socks.

Gojyo: My socks??!! Now why is that personal?!

Hakkai: Well cause we need something that smell like smelling salts and I believe your socks are the closest we have to it cause you have the habit of not checking your socks regularly....

Gojyo: I do change them!!

Hakkai: yes yes I know but 6 month once.......

Gojyo: ....... alright alright. *take out socks, .... and nearby plants started writhing....* are my socks really that smelly? Strangely none of the women I slept with ever complain about me having smelly feet.....

Hakkai: That's because I believe you always take a shower before your activity don't you Gojyo? *smile*

Gojyo: Uhhh........ ok *changing topic* now what are we going to do?

Nii: Well you have to put it into Nataku's mouth.

Gojyo: What?! *look at Hakkai*

Hakkai: Yes I believe this is the only way.....

Gojyo: But how? With Goku and Sanzo there I'll have them trying to kill me later because of the bad smell.

Hakkai: Well its better than having Sanzo going mad because he got a "kola bear" on him.

Gojyo: ...... But how are you going to get Nataku to ....

Hakkai: Well I do have a plan..... but I'm not sure if it'll work.

Gojyo: Whatever it is you better do it fast!

Hakkai: Very well.

Hakkai walked over to the 3 sandwich people, whisper something into Sanzo's ear, walked behind Nataku, cover his eyes and at the same time Sanzo pinch Nataku's nose and Hakkai forced the sock into Nataku's mouth.

A few minute of silence......

Nataku: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIKE!!!!!!!!!PUKE PUKE PUKE COUGH COUGH!!!!!!!!!

Sanzo: That was really awful......

Hakkai: Well at least he let go....

Goku: What was that anyway, it stinks!

Hakkai: That is ....*mouth got cover by Gojyo from behind*

Goku: *went over to Nataku who was puking at a nearby tree* are you alright?

Nataku: *weakly* I feel sick...... I think..... I better be off I can't even stand straight.... Goku I'll come look for you some other time......... *disappear*

Hakkai: Well at least he's cured.

Sanzo: How do you know?

Hakkai: Well if he isn't do you think he'll just stand there, i believe he'll still continue to hug you non-stop.

Sanzo..........

Nii: Ahh since you have your cure now are you ready to "pay" me?

All 4 stared at Nii for a while...... 

Sanzo: Wait we need to do some discussion first.......

Nii:.... very well....

All 4 ran aside and started discussing....

Gojyo: You think we can trust him?

Hakkai: Well his cure did work didn't it?

Goku: So are we going to do what he's going to ask us?

Sanzo: I am definitely not going to.

Hakkai: But if he hasn't pop up Nataku will still be hanging onto you.....

Gojyo: But who knows what Nii want?

Goku: I smell a rat.

Everyone look at Goku

Sanzo: Must be Gojyo's socks.

Gojyo: Hey how did you know that smelly thing is my sock?

Sanzo: Well I can see its a sock no doubt and who's socks are red in colour anyway? Not mine (mine is black) not Goku's definitely (Since he never have the habit of wearing anyway) and do you honestly think I'll believe Hakkai's socks will stink?

Hakkai: Maa maa we are out of topic here...

Nii: *calling from behind* Are you all done yet?

Hakkai: *call back* No, a few more minutes.

Gojyo: So are we doing or not?

The rest: ..............

Sanzo: *turned around and face Nii* Very well we'll do what you want....

Gojyo: But we have our terms and conditions....

Nii: Oh? That's interesting, I'm listening.

Goku: Nothing illegal, nothing that will make us lose out lives....

Hakkai: And yes no yaoi.....

Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku stared at Hakkai who is still smiling.

hakkai: Meaning we won't do "those" sort of things.

Nii: Oh you don't need to worry I have better taste. *snicker*

Gojyo: *almost fuming* *said softly* what does he mean? Is he actually saying we aren't good looking enough?!

Sanzo: *softly* don't get tricked.

Hakkai: *softly back* No no i believe he's just trying to say we aren't his types.

Goku: *softly too* what are you all talking about?

Hakkai: Nothing..... *smile*

Sanzo: Alright name it.

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back in heaven

Kanzeon: You look awful.

Nataku: Who won't after having something so smelly in my mouth....

Kanzeon: Well at least you're cured.

Nataku: I think I'll just continue to lie down for a few more days.....

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To be continue

Author ending rants: Ok.... I'm not trying to be an evil person here leaving a cliffhanger again but honestly I have not thought up what Nii will want so... I'm still thinking about what he'll request from the Sanzo ikkuo. Anyway Nataku's fans and Gojyo's fans, I sincerely apologize for making fun of Nataku and Gojyo so badly in this chapter, hope you all will forgive me.... *bow lowly*


	13. Chapter 11

Gomen everyone I took such a long time to update this fic.... here is a little preview on what is to come....

Disclaimer: As before

Warning/Rating: As before

Pairing: ......

Summary: So.... Nii stated out what he wants the Saiyuki ikkuo to do, a rather unexpected request..... well at least it wasn't a strip tease.

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Nii: Yes and please will you all stop staring at me like *that*.

Sanzo: That's the weirdest request I ever heard......

Gojyo: And that's 2 requests we only promise to do one for you in return for your help!!!!

Hakkai: Maa maa how difficult is it to do them?

Goku: Yeah and finding Kougaji and Homura aren't that difficult.....

Gojyo: It's not the finding part that is difficult.....

Sanzo: It's the stealing part that is.......

Hakkai: Oh well I guess we just have to split up to do these tasks, don't you guys think so?

The rest: ......

Apparently Nii wanted the Sanzo-ikkuo to .....

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Sanzo: I can't believe I'm doing this........

Hakkai: Well.... you just have to bear with it, if not for Nii's help you'll still be sandwich with Nataku and Goku......

Sanzo: Yes...... BUT STEALING HOMURA'S BABY'S PHOTOS!!!????? This is nuts......

Hakkai: Well its suppose to be since our dear author is writing us to be.....

Morikawa Sei: You are NOT suppose to know I exist......

Sanzo: But why do I have to come with you???

Hakkai: Oh well..... let's say.... I can't trust Gojyo to do a good job (with you) and you don't want Goku near Homura.... 

(actually the real fact was Hakkai wanted to use Sanzo as a bait.... since he managed to get some information that Homura seem to have an interest in a certain Sanzo look-alike.......)

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Goku: What are we doing.....?

Gojyo: *blushing* uhhhh just taking some photos.......

Goku: But Nii said he wants Kougaji's photos not some naked girls bathing in the river.....

Gojyo: Goku shut up and cover your eyes, you're not of the legal age yet!!!

Goku: Mou..... you sound like Hakkai..... But.... why do Nii want to have Kougaji and Homura's photo?

Gojyo: Uhhh... how do I know? Maybe he has that sort of interest?

Goku: Huh what interest?

Gojyo: Errr...... collecting photos.....?

Goku: Oh.

(Note: Many apologies to all Nii's fans please do not kill me.)

Gojyo: *thinking* Hmmm I don't want to think... but Nii seem to have a liking in.... small boys.... well judging from the way he look when he stated his "request" (think back on how Nii look)

Nii: AH CHOO!

Goku: Ne but Gojyo, why do Nii want Kougaji and Homura's babies' photo? I mean why not their photo of themselves now?

Gojyo: *sweardrop* Uhh.... I don't know......

Goku: *pondering* Hmmm... I wonder why?

to be continue soon....


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